


Code Name: Scorpion [working title]

by futureimperfect



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-05 05:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane hates Storybrooke Maine and the moose it rode in on....the feeling might be mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If you want something done right....

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: First time writing for this fandom, and writing anything in awhile. Still dusting off the cobwebs. Started watching S1 of OUaT & seeing as how just about everyone in Maine gets killed in the Rizzoli novels, had to do some kind of crossover where Jane could go up against Mayor Mills....had to. 
> 
> Further warning: Pure crack!fic, please ignore inconsistencies due to my slowly growing knowledge of the show. Be gentle.
> 
> Pre/Just starting Rizzles, eventual SQ, eventual other pairings most likely. Rating may...eh, let's go with will...change.

Maine. Why did everything have to happen in Maine? Population of about twelve goddamn people plus a couple hundred moose and it seemed to her at this point every one of them was either a murderer, or some kind of victim. Well, she wasn’t sure about all of the moose.

Jane Rizzoli paid just a passing, contemptuous glance at the sign as it flashed past her car window:

“Welcome to Storybrooke”

_Friggin’ hell._

****

When the trees parted it looked just about like every other small, sleepy town she’d driven through since getting off 95 North, all obnoxiously quaint little houses with their aging wood shingles and no more than two stoplights on Main Street. Jane already missed the buzz of Boston, it was even Frost’s day to pick up doughnuts...go figure. Someone else was probably eating her maple glazed right about now.

Every case had its own twists and turns, and this one had twisted Jane’s arm right into a drive up the barely-thawed coast. She’d heard rumors of a death that were strange. Maura would, nay had, said that ‘strange’ wasn’t an adequate classification for the situation, but Jane didn’t care. At least she tried not to care, which was damn hard when Maura pretended to scold her over it. She was cute when she was lecturing.

The strangeness was this- it looked like the guy had managed to die twice. Well, not exactly, Jane didn’t even want to think of the distaste Maura would have for that particular conclusion. The facts they did have were simpler than all that. It sure looked like a run of the mill murder in Boston’s Combat Zone (sure the City was making everyone call it the ‘Theater District’ now, but the locals knew better).

There had been some debts, some threats, and a forced walk down a dark alley. According to her sources, who weren’t known to be wrong (lately), ‘everyone knew’ that ‘Little PK’ had shot the guy to prove a point. Jane had yet to haul ‘everyone’ in for questioning, but she’d left Frost and Frankie to it.

It should have been an open and shut case, it really should have. She should have been making excuses for missing out on family dinner and convincing Maura to play hookie from whatever bar-bell-yoga rediculousness was the latest craze to watch a couple of old movies and try to forget the week.

Why she wanted that last part so badly she could smell the popcorn she’d probably burn, distracted by watching Maura glance distastefully through her DVDs, she wasn’t about to analyze too closely right now. Later, maybe never if she had her way with it.

Anyhow, the reason why none of these preferable-yet-confusing things were happening to her was that the simple murder had failed to leave behind a body. Motive, opportunity, witnesses, DNA, even a left tennis shoe, yes. But an honest to God body that Maura could pronounce murdered (in so many, many words)....not so much.

After a week of looking and sending out requests to half the law enforcement in New England, all she had to show for the overtime was some half-assed tip from the State of Maine’s ME’s office about a body that might match that came in from a little town in the middle of nowhere. Follow-up requests for details went mostly unanswered, everyone passing the buck to everyone else, and generally wasting her time.

As was usually the case in her life, if you wanted something done right you had to do it yourself.

_Dammit, dammit all to hell._


	2. Well digital watches ARE a pretty neat idea...

Jane turned onto the biggest street the place seemed to have, hauling the car to a stop across from an obnoxiously quaint clock tower.  

_Really??_

Like anyone living in a seaside town where the main thoroughfares were probably named 1st and 2nd streets needed to be able to tell the time.  It was clearly the kind of place that still celebrated Arbor Day and took it goddamn seriously too.    
  
 _Hell, they probably hadn’t even gotten over the joy of digital watches up here._   
  
She stepped out of the car and was immediately assaulted by a gust of annoyingly crisp ocean air.  Spring had just started to visit Boston, but apparently Maine hadn’t gotten the memo yet.  She gave the door an extra-hard shove closed, all the better to announce her arrival.    
  
The problem was, though that she wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed from here.  The more she’d asked the receptionist with the ME’s office, the less she seemed to know.  It was confusing as hell.    
  
The best she could get out of her was some nonsense about  the town  having a “close community, a new sheriff, and to maybe ‘try’ to speak with the Mayor.”  Thanks lady, thanks a lot.  Not like she was trying to solve anything as important as a murder....  
  
At least they’d been helpful enough to send the reports down to Maura so she had something to try and drop some science on while Jane was away.  She’d refused to come along (for once).  Something about incubation tests on flesh-eating bacteria she couldn’t be pried away from.  Well, if that was what she was up to her elbows in at the moment, maybe she was better off not spending 5 hours in a confined space with her.  
  
She’d bring her back a lobster roll. Maybe, if the drive back didn’t end up taking too long. No promises, that shit didn’t travel well.  
  



	3. First thing's first....

Jane pulled her blazer a little closer around her as she stepped onto the sidewalk. The wind had somehow managed to get colder at that second, if that was even possible. She needed to get this recon job over and done with. Barring that, she at least needed a coffee, preferably immediately. 

Hitching footfalls behind her punctuated by the clicking of a cane on pavement made her turn sharply to see a man closing in on her. He was slight, with deep set eyes and mousy hair swept back by the wind.

Strange, she could have sworn the street had been deserted when she’d pulled up. 

He paused, giving her a half-smile and his long coat swayed around his form as he looked her over. Jane felt an entirely different chill than she had before. Something in his stare raised every hair on the back of her neck. She shifted, reassuring herself of the weapon strapped to her hip. 

His smile broadened ever so slightly,

“Oh, that won’t be of much use to you in our little town, dearie. But what might a Boston detective be needing this far North? You’re a little late for the foliage.”

She narrowed her eyes, immediately on guard. She didn’t owe this clown, or anyone yet, an explanation. Free fucking country, even out of her jurisdiction.

“At the moment, looking for a place to get a cup of coffee.” 

He chuckled to himself, no doubt enjoying her discomfort,

“You’d best go see Granny then.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just there, best coffee in town. The only, in fact.”

Jane so badly wanted him to be joking, but she didn’t think she was getting her wish. Instead she just followed his nod toward a small diner across the street. 

“Um....thanks, Mr?” Her question hung in the air.

“Gold. Mr. Gold.” The reply was easy, expected.

She turned, suddenly eager to put distance between herself and the stranger. Her badge was heavy in her coat pocket, and the unmarked car she’d arrived in stared back at her.

“Oh and Detective...” The address carried more weight this time.

Half across the street, Jane turned back to see he hadn’t moved. His eyes locked on hers, 

“....Welcome to Storybrooke. I do hope you find what you’re looking for.”


	4. I'd go with tacos....

  
  
At least Granny’s was warm.    
  
The door swished shut behind her and Jane looked around the room, painfully aware that all eyes, what few there were, turned to follow her as she slid into the nearest booth.    
  
They acted like the lot of them hadn’t seen a visitor before. _Some welcome._   
  
She picked up a rumpled stack of newsprint left by the table’s previous occupant and looked it over.  “The Storybrooke Daily Mirror” was printed across the header in what amounted to ridiculously ornate lettering in Jane’s humble opinion.    
  
A daily? As if there was possibly enough going on in this town to warrant a daily paper.  She was pretty sure the matter that had brought her there had to have been the headline of the year, decade maybe.  What else could be newsworthy up here other than ‘Winner of the Annual Cabbage Contest’ and ‘Lost Dog, Not Lost.’?  
  
She was scanning the front page for anything of interest when a long arm brushed over her shoulder to slide a mug of steaming coffee onto the table.  Well thank God someone in this town had their shit together.   
  
Jane looked up and raised an eyebrow... and then some.    
  
 _What the hell was the girl wearing?_   
  
It was negative 20 damn degrees out and she was dressed like...well.... Jane wasn’t about to finish, because thoughts of a particular undercover operation and a certain medical examiner were springing vividly to mind.   
  
Jane’s brain took that very moment to remind her just how long it had been since she’d been on a date. She made a show of reading her nametag to cover where else her eyes might have been,  
  
“Thanks, um....Ruby.”  That would be her name, go figure.   
  
The waitress smiled and brushed a lock of red-streaked hair back behind  her shoulder, giving the distinct impression she knew just a little more than she let on,   
  
“You looked like you could use it.”  She hovered just a little longer, not unaware of Jane’s eyes wandering again, “you also look like you’re trying to find....some...one?”  She drew the last few syllables out, and raised an eyebrow of her own.   
  
_Well hell, so much for keeping a low profile...._  
  
Jane was starting to get the impression that Storybrooke was the type of place where if someone sneezed at the fire station, someone in the library whispered ‘bless you.’  It was a far cry from Boston where, long running television shows aside, not everyone knew your name.  
  
“Yes, actually.  I guess the Sheriff, or the Mayor, either really.”  
  
Ruby didn’t look like she was going to question Jane on her motives, at least not verbally, her face said enough.  There was a warning there, and Jane didn’t particularly care for the other woman’s lack of confidence in her, not even a little bit.    
  
Ruby leaned in then, getting in Jane’s space.  She lowered her voice,   
  
“I know why you’re here.  This is about the Emperor, isn’t it?”  
  
 _….Okay it all makes sense now, everyone here’s certifiable...._   
  
Jane tried hard not to drop her face into her hands right on the spot, she didn’t have time for more smoke and mirrors,   
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“The Emperor.  You know, that guy who was hanging from the bridge.  You’re looking for answers, aren’t you?”  
  
Suddenly, Jane was thinking about her nice little desk at the BPD and arguing over sushi vs tacos for lunch with Maura....both things being completely unlike what was currently happening to her.  
  
“Look Miss, I’m just here for a cup of coffee and....”  
  
She sighed, maybe she could use all the help she could get,   
  
“...And, how did you know?”  
  
Ruby did that hair flicking thing again, bright red lips curling into a smile, “Well, people don’t usually just show up here without a good reason and...I could smell it on you.”  
  
 _….Definitely certifiable._  
  
Jane was getting ready to ask who this ‘Emperor’ was when she noticed an older woman step behind the counter and Ruby stood back up straight, her voice grew casual again,   
  
“Well, Sheriff Swan is probably doing some rounds, and Mayor Mills’ office is in the town hall just down the road.  I should be getting back to work.”  
  
 _People come and go so quickly here...._  
  
Jane sighed. _...Sheriff Swan and Mayor Mills...._ this place was really getting on her nerves now.  What kind of names were those anyway?  She could just hear Maura’s voice saying something like ‘what lovely alliteration,’  but she wasn’t here so at least Jane didn’t have to hear it out loud.    
  
She turned back her coffee, and wrinkled her nose at the smell.    
  
Cinnamon... really?


	5. Who has a mirror at work anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How am I doin' folks? Making any kind of sense so far? ;)

Jane would rather have started with the Sheriff, officer to officer and all that, but there was no way she was going to waste daylight chasing her own tail around.  She’d start with the one who stayed in one place, thank you very much.   
  
She squared her shoulders and shoved the town hall door open. It slammed shut behind her with a resounding thud. The detective looked around for a receptionist, but finding the entry deserted she took it upon herself to find what she came there for.  She didn’t have all friggin week, after all.   
  
_Get in, get answers, get out....maybe get that lobster roll afterall._  
  
It wasn’t like she hadn’t done these kinds of interviews a thousand times before.  Local authorities were usually either too preoccupied with their regular schedule that concerned such important matters as historic signposts and dog-walking ordinances, or were just there for the state holidays and getting out of parking tickets.  Either way, they were usually stuffy administrators who wanted absolutely nothing to do with homicide detectives other than getting them what they wanted and shoving them the hell out of their jurisdictions.  Worked damn well for her either way.    
  
Halfway down a modestly-decorated hallway Jane paused to look at herself in a large mirror hung on the wall between two windows. Her clothes were wrinkled from the drive, but who wanted to look at themselves at work anyway?  Well, maybe she could think of one person...  
  
She wondered what Maura was up to back at the office without her, what she might be wearing....and....  
  
 _Dammit, Rizzoli, she’s your friend. One of your only ones....stop it...._  
  
Jane let out a breath and brushed a tangled lock of hair back over her shoulder before she moved on, just missing the haze that drifted over the glass in her reflection’s wake.   
  
The door simply said “Mayor” in block letters.  To her surprise, it opened before Jane could reach out, swinging inward and putting her face to face with....  
  
 _Oh fuck..._  
  
“Um, Mayor Mills?”  
  
This was definitely not the portly gray-haired and bearded older paper-pusher Jane had in mind when she thought of the mayor of a sleepy little town where the cattle probably outnumbered the people.  This was something else entirely.  A something else that was tall, dark, confident, and decidedly dangerous.    
  
Not in the way a loaded gun or a knife is dangerous, but in the way a lie is dangerous- Subversive and subtle.   
  
“Detective Rizzoli, I’ve been expecting you.”  
  
 _Fuckity fuck...._


	6. No such thing as a free drink....

The Mayor’s office was all soaring heights and immaculate decor that in no way looked like it could be within the town’s budget.  Then again, that was almost exactly how she’d describe the woman seated across from her.  
  
Maybe sleepy little Storybrooke was more than it appeared after all.  
  
Jane took in a quick breath, noticing at the back of her mind that the room past the Mayor smelled just a little too sweetly of apples and something else she couldn’t put her finger on.  She shifted uncomfortably in her chair while the Mayor sat poised, hands folded neatly on the black and white desktop in front of her.    
  
“I just have a few questions for you, I won’t take too much of your time.”    
  
Jane was still trying to size up the situation.  Despite the quiet demeanor the other woman was projecting, she could sense other emotions in the room- curiosity, and a hint of antagonism.  She was on the Mayor’s turf, Jane could respect that, but she was there to do a job....or die trying.  
  
“Please, detective, take all the time you need.  What happens in my town, especially when it’s as unfortunate as recent events, warrants my utmost attention.  There has been a fair amount of shock, from which people are are only recently recovering.”    
  
There was that look again from the moment Jane had stepped in the door.  The Mayor’s lips that said one thing, and the eyes that Jane could tell meant something completely different.  
  
Jane had worked enough cases to feel uneasy, though she tried to remind herself was unwarranted.  She was just here to see what the locals knew.  It wasn’t everyday someone hung themselves off a bridge in the middle of nowhere Maine, especially someone who was already supposed to be dead in Boston.    
  
 _She needed a vacation from this shit.  Maybe someplace warm where they put umbrellas in the drinks and they provided hammock-side service, maybe all sorts of things...._  
  
The slight tilt of the Mayor’s head and a darkening in her eyes brought Jane back to the very real present, wherein the shifty-yet-far too attractive Mayor was still speaking,  
  
“Though I must admit to being somewhat surprised that Boston felt the need to send someone all the way up to personally check in on the history of a suicidal man, tragic as it is.”  
  
“I know it’s unexpected, but I just need to follow up on a few tips.  I’m sure you understand.”  
  
 _No picnic for me either, lady...._  
  
Jane watched as the brunette inclined her head just slightly, allowing her to continue,  
  
“Well first off did you know him?”  
  
“Of course, I know everyone in my town.”  
  
The Mayor’s tone definitely implied that every teacher who’d told Jane as a child that there ‘were no stupid questions’ should have been fired on the spot. However she continued,  
  
“He owned the tailor’s shop on Bay Street.”  
  
 _Well wasn’t that just charming._  
  
“So he...made clothes, that kind of thing?”  Not exactly a high roller. “What’s this I’ve been hearing about him going by ‘The Emperor’?”  
  
The Mayor tilted her head and the next thing Jane knew the other woman was on her feet and walking to the other side of the room.  Jane could have sworn the brunette had muttered something under her breath that she couldn’t quite catch.  
  
Jane watched her, now more and more aware of the way she seemed to glide in heels Jane would have taken a header off of with her first step, and her skirt was just a little...  
  
 _Jane realized at that moment it was absolutely necessary that she remember the Sox’s 2004 win-loss ratio.  She was drawing a blank..._  
  
The Mayor paused and looked back at Jane as she picked up a silver teapot from a tray.    
  
“Where are my manners?”

She poured a cup, and started back toward Jane, her smile almost apologetic, though her tone was sickly sweet,

“You will have to forgive me Detective, I rarely have unexpected visitors.”  
  
 _Really lady?  This is my not surprised face...._  
  
Jane raised an eyebrow at the unexpected turn, but took the offered cup politely and had a sip before setting it down on the small table beside her. She tried to remember where she’d been going with the interview.  
  
“Um, thanks but... what’s the deal with this Emperor guy?  I’m betting he’s got a real name?”  
  
The Mayor’s smile was back, and she leaned back into her chair,  
  
“His name is Lawrence, and he’s a simple man though he does think quite highly of himself at times.  You’ll find people in this town can be easily drawn to delusions of grandeur.  But they are simply that.”  
  
Jane paused at the detail, “Okay, what’s the name of this place?  Is it still open?”  Jane took another sip of the tea, her mouth feeling suddenly dry.  
  
“Yes, I believe his employees have continued without him for the time being.  You should have no troubles finding The Emporium, it’s just across from the library.  See what I mean about delusions, detective?”  
  
Jane made a mental note before adding, “Anything else I should know about him for now?  Family?  Friends?  ….Enemies?”  She trailed off, her own words were sounding far away.  The drive must have been longer than she thought.    
  
“We weren’t close, but I know he had many of the former, and few of the latter.  You may want to take up the details of them with his associates. He was well known, and always very well dressed.”  
  
It registered to Jane that she should excuse herself, she clearly needed some air....but the Mayor was still talking and Jane couldn’t will herself to interrupt her.  None of this was going to plan.  
  
“As for enemies, I believe he unfortunately had many he could not escape. However, Detective, as you know they were sadly in his own mind.”  
  
The Mayor’s last words were lost on Jane as she slowly pitched forward and collapsed onto the office floor.  
  



	7. Bad habits...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, taking a little liberty with who knows what about magic and other things. But this is crack!fic from the first word so....forgive me.

_“Oh Regina, we talked about this.  You can’t go all Jefferson on people when you’re bored of answering their questions.  Do you remember the last time?  I spent two weeks convincing Archie he must have developed a ‘tea allergy.’”_  
  
 _“Do you think I planned this?  Don’t be ridiculous Ms. Swan, I have my reasons.  I need some time to find out how she got here.  Besides, she spilled that godawful tea all over my rug.  She’s lucky I didn’t do anything more....detrimental.”_    
  
Two voices swam in Jane’s head.  She tried to focus on them, but nothing was making sense and the room was still hazy and dark.  The first voice continued, it wasn’t one she recognized.  
  
 _“What do you even mean?  She drove here, same as me.  I mean, her car's a little bigger....but... ”_  
  
 _"Don’t get cute, this is business.  Just because we may....spend some time together now and then doesn’t change the fact that you work for me Sheriff.  When I call you to my office, you will do as I say.”_  
  
 _“….That wasn’t the story last Thursday after lunch.”_  
  
 _“Emma, that’s enough.  You’ are close to never hearing that particular ‘story’ ever again.  Now, I need you to take care of her, lock her up at the station.  Public intoxication or whatever you want to call it.”_  
  
Jane’s eyes fluttered, trying to blink away the shadows.  She tried to flex her hands, but they wouldn’t move.  She was helpless on the floor in front of these would-be captors.    
  
 _“No way, I am not going to have a Boston Detective waking up with a bad tea hangover in my jail and demanding her phone call.  I think we both know that doesn’t end well.”_  
  
 _“Then think of something else, Ms. Swan.  Put her on a bus back to Boston for all I care.  I don’t need to tell you she can’t be found here.”_  
  
Jane’s hands finally managed to move and she tried to drag herself up quietly. At once however, footsteps closed in on her.  
  
 _“Regina, no!”_  
  
Everything went dark again.


	8. It's always a good time for pie...

A knocking sound echoed in Jane’s aching head.  She rolled over and tried to ignore it, but it abjectly persisted in its existence.  She groaned, willing herself to open her eyes.  When she did, however, she bolted upright with a start.  This was immediately, absolutely, and thoroughly regretted and she keeled over, trying to keep the room from spinning out of focus.  

 

Where the hell was she?  She blinked around the room as the knocking started up again.  It was neat and clean, with all too many floral prints for this early in the morning- if that was even what time of day it happened to be.  To her relief, her sidearm and badge were on the nightstand beside her, and she gripped the weapon instinctively.

 

Still in a haze, Jane dragged herself to her feet and noted she’d fell asleep- apparently- with her boots still on.  An image of Maura’s face, chiding her, rolled lazily through her conscious.  She frowned back at it as she stumbled to the door.  

 

Reaching the other side of the room, she hastily threw the door open and found herself face to face with a (not too bad looking) blond woman holding a piece of apple pie in one hand, and a paper coffee cup in the other.  

 

_What. The. Actual. Fuck._

 

Jane checked herself.  She had very private fantasies that started like this but she preferred cherry....and she’d never had a dream where she felt so goddamn hung over.

 

The other woman filled the silence,

 

“I thought these might help.”

 

Jane’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she could get her bearings.

 

 

 _Far too much time, and too few questions to ask_..... _Wait, strike that, reverse it._

 

“Where am...how did...?”  She trailed off before settling on, “And you are...?”

 

The other woman smiled and pushed the food toward Jane.  “Sheriff Swan, but call me Emma.”

 

A flash of recognition passed through Jane and she fumbled with her gun, checking the safety before tucking it in the back of her belt.  She took the offered food.

 

_Right, still in the frigging land of people with rhyming names._

 

“Oh, I was...”

 

“Looking for me?”  Emma finished her sentence, and motioned toward a small table and chairs by the window.  Jane moved numbly and sat. Things were coming back to the detective more quickly, but the sheriff sat across for her and filled in the pieces.

 

“The Mayor called me yesterday. She said a Detective from Boston had passed out in an interview with her.  Something about the suicide we had here last week?”

 

Jane didn’t quite remember it that way, but then again she didn’t remember much.  Though the blond’s voice was starting to sound familiar.

 

“We got you checked out, but it just seemed like a case of exhaustion.  The local doctor advised some rest, so we brought you here for the night.  You know, you really should lay off the double shifts.”  She was managing a fairly convincing smile. Jane had a subtle feeling the speech was practiced, but she couldn’t be sure.  

 

_It had been a hell of a week._

 

“Try it.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Emma pointed, “The pie.  I promise, it’s not poisoned.”  That smile was back, but Jane was past coherent questions and a little too hungry for paranoia.  She took a bite, and her headache mercifully began to recede to a dull throb.

 

Jane moved on to the coffee.

 

_Cinnamon again, what was it with this place?_

 

She took a sip anyway and eyed the woman across from her,

 

“So Sheriff, think you could answer a few of my questions?”

 

The buzzing sound made them both jump and Emma extracted the phone from her back pocket. A look of apprehension and something Jane couldn’t quite make out crossed her features,

 

“Sorry, I need to go.”  She shrugged at Jane, “Duty calls, but stop by the station later and I’ll see what I can do about your investigation.”

 

She stood and slipped the phone back away,

 

“I’m sure you want to clear this all up and get back to Boston.  Not much going on in this little town.”

 

She was out the door before Jane had time to stand.


	9. Storybrooke calling....

Jane’s eyes followed the Sheriff-shaped blur as it ran out the door.  One more bite of pie and she was reaching for her own phone and hitting the speed dial,

 

“Hey Maura?  I think I need you to come up to Maine.”

 

There was a pause while the Medical Examiner peppered her with inquiries over the line. Jane indulged a few moments before cutting her off,

  
“I’ll answer all that later, promise. Now just get in that ridiculous electric thing you keep calling a car and get up here.  Something very strange is going on and I think I need a doctor’s opinion.”


	10. Sharing is Caring....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some liberties are taken with this chapter....forgive me ;)

Emma’s boots echoed as she walked into Regina’s pristine office unannounced.  The Mayor was seated comfortably behind her desk, pen in hand as she read the paper in front of her.  She signed her name to the bottom with a flourish before glancing up at her visitor.  

 

“Did you take care of it?”

 

Emma sidled up to the desk and leaned on it, “I’m taking care of it”

 

“You’d better be. But I can tell by your answer that our new friend is up and about this morning? What ever did you tell her dear?”

 

“The truth.”

 

Regina’s eyebrow moved skyward, “The truth?”

 

Emma crossed her arms in front of her, not bothering to look away from the other woman’s incredulous stare, “Yes, that she passed out on your floor and we took good care of her.  It might have been less suspicious though if you had held back that last move.  Now she’s probably wondering how she was out all night.”

 

A chuckle rose from the brunette’s throat,

 

“Well I think you can take at least part of the blame for that, Ms Swan.”

 

Emma rolled her eyes, but it was pointless to interrupt Regina. The woman was so maddeningly in love with the sound of her own voice sometimes,

 

“It would have been just a matter of the simple potion had you not come to town and unwittingly brought a good deal more than that god awful yellow car with you.  Not that I mind, exactly.”

 

Regina was smiling dangerously now, and she rounded the desk to lean over the blond’s shoulder.  Emma felt the now familiar tingle of energy that was more than just her grudgingly admitted attraction to the brunette.

 

“Here, let me...”

 

Regina raised her hands, letting them hover just above the other woman’s shoulders.  Her eyes closed as she let her head tilt back, lips parting as she took in a sharp breath.

 

Emma knew she should move, should resist, but instead she only managed to let out a moan in spite of herself as the magic crackled and arced between them.  It was an odd sensation, both guilty and so hard to refuse. Then again, she found most powerful things in life were just that.

 

As fast as the pulse had come, it was gone. Regina leaned against her, pressing their bodies together.  After a beat, Emma sagged and turned in the other woman’s arms.  

 

“That’s the last time Regina, I mean it.”  But her voice was quieter now and she wasn’t pulling away.

 

Regina just laughed again, as if to herself alone.

 

“You're beginning to sound like a broken record, dear.”

 

Her hands pulled Emma closer, sliding over the blond’s back and through her slightly tangled hair.

 

“But now we have a situation to deal with.  Our friend the detective needs to be sent on her way, so see to it. Pity though, she is quite attractive. Not that braun and swagger is exactly my type...”

 

Emma pulled back and Regina smiled wickedly at her, thoroughly enjoying the expression on the younger woman’s face. She had yet to learn any ability to hide her emotions.... ever her mother’s child.

“Oh don’t worry Ms Swan, if you do your job she won’t be in town much longer. We both know the alternative wouldn’t end well for either of us.”

  
“No, Madame Mayor....it definitely wouldn’t.”


	11. Sorry Maura, I'm not sure it is....but I've heard good things about the cod.

By that afternoon, Jane found herself back in a booth at Granny’s diner watching Maura Isles push her garden salad (dressing on the side) around her plate like some kind of edible science experiment.

 

“So anyway, as for why I called you up here on this one....”

 

“Do you think it’s organic?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“The lettuce here.  Do you think it’s certified organic?  Because the Iceburg varietal is known to be rather lacking in nutritional value and I’d rather it not have been grown with....”

 

Jane’s fist came down a little more forcefully on the tabletop than she intended.  The silverwear rattled,

 

“Maura!  Come on, really?”

 

Maura jumped, and Jane winced.  She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, and tried to focus.

 

“Sorry.  I’m just sick of this place already is all.  I’m still getting over whatever hit me last night.”

 

Maura’s face made that overly concerned look that told Jane she shouldn’t have brought it up.

 

“Jane, you really should let me check you out, at least do some bloodwork.  You’re not generally prone to vasovagal episodes.  I have some basic lab equipment in the Prius, you weren't very specific earlier on what I might need to be prepared for.”

 

There was a joke in there Jane couldn’t bring herself to make.  Not after what had happened-almost, a little- between them the night before she ran off on this little ‘adventure.’  At least that hangover had been warranted.  No more tequila, ever.   

 

“Like I was saying, I called you up here because I’m starting to think there’s something strange going on here and I...well I needed a second set of eyes.”

 

“So, I’m your ‘backup?’”  Maura’s eyes lit up at the thought, and she stopped prodding the salad so morosely.

 

Jane couldn’t stop herself from smiling a little, “Yeah I guess you are.”

 

“Do I get a gun?”

 

_Entirely too much excitement there...._

 

“Don’t push it.”

 

Maura’s pout became a look of outright disapproval when Ruby brought Jane’s order to the table.  This was partly due to the nutritional value of the selection, and partly because of how the other woman leaned a little too close to the detective as she did so.  

 

“You know you can’t keep eating like a teenager, Jane.” There was a little more behind that comment than was warranted by worry about her health.

 

“Says you.”

 

“Says me and nutritional science.  Are you really going to eat that?”

 

Ignoring Maura for the moment, Jane picked up the cheeseburger and continued talking about the case,

 

“Anyway, what I’ve learned about this case isn’t much.  So far we’ve got a body that matches the Combat Zone vic that was found hangin’ off a bridge just outside of town.  Allegedly everybody knew him, and nobody hated him.  I’ve heard a thing or two about a history of mental illness, but haven’t been able to confirm it.”

 

Jane took a bite of the burger and collected her thoughts.  

 

_No pickles. What was it with this place!?_

 

“Everyone here swears up and down it’s a suicide, and they’re just a little too eager to say it.”

 

Maura leaned back in her seat,

 

“You’ve been taking advice from your intestines again.”

 

“Call it intuition.”

 

The doctor sighed audibly, but Jane made a point of ignoring it.  If she stopped to change course every time Maura looked at her like that during their investigations they’d end up going in more circles than a couple of friggin circus ponies.

 

“Look, let’s just finish here and get on with the investigation.  There’s a seat with my name on it back at The Robber, and I intend to be in it by Friday night.”

 

Jane was predictable, but that really was part of her charm when Maura allowed herself to admit it.

 

“I suppose it’s good to have goals.  Even if they’re quite....short term.”

 

“Exactly, so let’s go see the Sheriff.”  Jane felt a little like humming the 'Yellow Brick Road' song in that instant for some bizarre reason.  Thankfully, Maura cut her short,

 

“Oh, have you met them yet?  It would stand to reason that partnering with local law enforcement would be quite beneficial.

 

Jane’s smile was wicked,

 

“Well, she did wake me up with a coffee this morning....”

 

“Jane!”  

 

“Don’t worry my friend, your coffee’s still my favorite.”  She couldn’t help a small wink.  “Though....she did bring me pie along with it.”

Maura was still glaring at her as Jane wiped the hamburger crumbs onto her napkin and threw it on her plate,

  
“You ready, Dr. Death?”


	12. Well if magic words were that easy....

Regina stepped into the pawn shop without hesitation and the door snapped shut behind her, chased by a gust of wind.  Gold looked up from behind the counter, then closed the aged box in front of him, and slid it under the glass possessively.  

 

“Mayor Mills, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”  His tone was casual, a slight mockery of his words’ formality.  

 

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not here for your trinkets.”  Regina approached, pausing to run her finger over the diminutive rail of a model ship on her way.  

 

“I’m here for some information, and you’re going to give it to me.”

 

“And just what makes you think I can help you, dearie?”

 

Regina rolled her eyes just slightly, letting her lips form into a sneer,

 

“I don’t have time for these games, Rumple.”  A flash of white teeth showed, and the threat hung in the air, “that pathetic excuse for a tailor, he didn’t just stumble down the road on his own, let alone get back.”  She lowered her voice then, “And now I have an outsider, a detective no less, asking questions about his useless little life.  And to think he was ever considered even minor nobility...”

 

“You know as well as I do that magic has its limits.  However it also has its escapes.”

 

Regina fixed him with an inquisitive stare, her malice not assuaged,

 

“So you do know.  How? ”

 

“Well, your Majesty,” the address dripped with sarcasm, “sometimes magic is only as powerful as people want to believe it is.  Now our friend the tailor, well he has been known for being beset painful realizations, as you well recall. It’s striking how a thing like that can....change your path.  One's outlook has a magic all its own.”

 

The Mayor scowled at the answer, though she knew Gold was only half toying with her.  Things had been changing since Emma had rode into town, though she had hoped the fissures weren’t as widespread as they now seemed.  She inclined her head, seeking the next connection in the theory,

 

“If what you say is true, and he managed to escape, then why did he return?  Why drag his miserable self back only for such a pointless end?”  If he’d had the decency to stay in Boston this all would have been simpler, and she wouldn’t be contending with a painfully brazen detective and her pet doctor.

 

Gold aimlessly pushed a rag across the top of the glass case, wiping away fingerprints that weren’t there,

 

“Because like all magic, even the realization of its presence can come with a price.  Especially when the individual is so schooled in and comforted by self-delusion.”

 

The Mayor crossed her arms, pieces coming together in turn.  Gold finished with the rag and looked up,

 

“But as for that Detective, I’m afraid I’m fresh out of wisdom....”

 

“Unless?”  Regina leaned over the counter.  There was always a price with Rumple, the question being if one was desperate enough to pay it.

 

“Unless nothing, dearie.  You’re on your own with getting her out of town, as inconvenient as it is I’m not presently in a position to, say....push her down a rabbit hole.  She clearly would be missed by the outside world, much unlike your citizens here.”  He cocked his head to the side, “Or should I say, subjects?”

 

She shook her head at his lack of taste slowly, it wasn’t the entire truth, but it wasn’t just time to be making deals she’d later regret either.  He was smiling at her now, and she pushed down the rising anger, even as her fingers twitched.  His voice sounded from over her shoulder as she turned resolutely to leave, a tinge of glee now making his words echo in the dusty shop,   

 

“I suppose you could always try saying the magic word...Your Majesty...”

She whipped back around, in time for him to finish his comment with a sneer and a flourish she hadn’t seen in over 28 years,

“.....Please.”


End file.
